Dinner with a difference
by Robmeister2010
Summary: Amy has forgotten a planned restaurant dinner with Sheldon, and he asks Penny to take her place. Or so he tells her. But all is not as it seems...One shot as opposed to multiple chapters.


*knock knock knock*Penny!

*knock knock knock* Penny!

*knock knock knock* Penny!

Penny rolled her eyes and made her way from the kitchen to the door and opened it.

"Hey sweetie. You're looking smart, you going somewhere?" asked Penny observing him in his suit.

"I was due to take Amy for dinner, however she made alternative plans. She lacks the eidetic memory that allows her to remember previous engagements." Said Sheldon.

"So you're wearing the suit anyway?" asked Penny slightly confused.

"Of course not Penny." He replied rolling his eyes.

"So what can I do for you?" asked Penny.

"I remembered, as I have an eidetic memory, that you expressed a lack of satisfaction at not having eaten out at a fancy establishment a couple of days ago. I am therefore requesting that you attend the restaurant in Amys place." Said Sheldon.

"You're taking me out to dinner? Aww thank you sweetie. I accept." Smiled Penny.

"It's a fairly fancy restaurant, I do not think with your current state of dress we will gain access." Said Sheldon referring to the unglamorous tracksuit bottoms and tshirt she was wearing.

"I have a dress I've been wanting to wear for ages. Give me five minutes." Smiled Penny.

"Which means twenty. I am familiar with how long it takes females to get ready." Said Sheldon.

"Females? Jeez, aren't you the romantic one?" asked Penny.

"Sarcasm?" he questioned. Penny nodded with a smile and headed into the bedroom to get changed. By the time Sheldon had tidied up the living room, organised her DVD collection in alphabetical order and supplied a questionable sniff on the few dairy products that existed in her mostly bare fridge, Penny appeared.

"How do I look?" she asked.

"You look very suitable for a night of fine dining." Replied Sheldon.

"Thank you sweetie." She replied with a smile. She reached for her car keys and Sheldon shook his head.

"You don't need to drive. The transport is already on its way. We must leave now though or we won't make the reservation I placed." Said Sheldon.

"Wow, this is gonna be a pretty cool evening." Smiled Penny. As they made their way down the stairs and out of the lobby into the car park, Penny gasped.

"Sheldon, you've got to be kidding me?" asked Penny. Parked just in front of them was the biggest Limousine she had ever seen.

"You didn't think I would cancel the Limousine in favour of your car with the check engine light did you?" asked Sheldon. The driver got out.

"Good evening Madame. Sir." He smiled politely and opened the door.

"After you." Said Sheldon. Penny climbed into the Limousine in a state of mild shock. Sheldon climbed in after her and the driver closed the door before climbing back inside and driving away.

"Would you care for a glass of Champagne?" asked Sheldon pointing to the bottle in the ice bucket.

"I can't believe Amy passed up on all this. She needs her head tested." Said Penny.

"I am sure she is enjoying her alternative plans regardless." Said Sheldon. He poured Champagne into two glasses.

"Wait, sweetie, you don't drink?" Penny questioned.

"It is rude to allow a lady to drink by herself. I shall make an exception to my rule on this occasion." Stated Sheldon handing her one of the glasses.

"I was getting ready for a pot of instant noodles and maybe a DVD in front of the TV. Now I'm going out for dinner in a Limousine with Champagne. I can't quite believe it." Said Penny taking a sip of the Champagne.

"The plans were already made. It seemed a shame to cancel them after you made your statement the day before yesterday." Said Sheldon.

"Well thank you for thinking of me sweetie. It's very nice of you." She smiled.

"Good lord!" cried Sheldon coughing a little on the Champagne.

"It takes a while to get used to. Even longer for you. You don't have to drink it sweetie, I won't be offended drinking alone." Said Penny.

"Perhaps once you have finished your glass you could assist me by drinking the remainder of mine?" asked Sheldon.

"Two glasses of Champagne before dinner? If it was anyone else I'd think you were trying to get me drunk." Smiled Penny.

"I assure you that is not my plan. I wish to enjoy this meal, the thought of you stumbling around with slurred speech and disorientated brain equilibrium does not feature in my plans." Said Sheldon.

"Duly noted Dr Cooper." She smiled. By the time they had reached the restaurant Penny had managed to down her glass, Sheldons, and an extra glass herself.

"You're not drunk are you?" he asked as they exited the Limousine and paid a tip to the driver.

"No, just lightly buzzed." Smiled Penny.

"Well we're here." Said Sheldon. Penny turned and took in the surroundings.

"Sheldon, I've seen this place advertised, it costs a fortune!" said Penny.

"The reservations were already made. Like I said, it would have been a shame to let them go to waste." Said Sheldon.

"But Sheldon, you reserved this for Amy. I'm not Amy." Said Penny.

"Thank you for pointing that out to me Penny, I was a little confused as to whether you were." He said with a sarcastic tone.

"Sheldon, I mean it, I can't afford to pay for this, and I can't let you pay for it either." Said Penny.

"Penny, we are here, we will eat. If it makes you feel more comfortable, in exchange for this meal you must let me clean your apartment once a week." Said Sheldon. Penny hesitated for a moment.

"I don't know Sheldon…it's _really_ expensive." Said Penny.

"I know how much you hate me cleaning your apartment. Allowing me to do so would more than compensate for the financial cost of this meal, if you choose to look at it in that respect." Said Sheldon.

"How do you look at it?" asked Penny.

"I look at it that I am sharing a meal with you. Not _literally_ sharing a meal obviously, that would be unhygienic." Said Sheldon.

"Of course it would." Smiled Penny.

"Penny, whilst it is considered rude for a man to complain, your argument over the price of the meal is causing me to experience a dramatic decrease in core body temperature in this wind." Said Sheldon. Penny sighed and thought for a moment.

"Alright Sheldon. But I'm ordering the cheapest thing on the menu." Said Penny.

"You will do no such thing. You will order whatever is most appealing on the menu." Replied Sheldon. After what had seemed to Sheldon to be an eternity since arriving, they finally made their way inside. A staff member came over.

"Reservation for two in the name of Dr Sheldon Cooper." Stated Sheldon. The man nodded and led them to a table. They sat down and the man left, promising the waiter would be with them shortly to take their order.

"Sheldon, this place is beautiful." Whispered Penny glancing around at her surroundings.

"Am I to surmise that you don't dine in these establishments often?" asked Sheldon. Penny shook her head sadly.

"Perhaps you should form a romantic attachment with someone who is able to provide this thing on a more regular basis?" suggested Sheldon.

"I wish it was that easy Sheldon. Most of the guys I meet are jerks who are only after one thing." Said Penny.

"Coitus?" asked Sheldon. Penny nodded.

"Penny, I believe I owe you an apology." Said Sheldon.

"You do?" she asked questioningly.

"Yes. I was of the assumption that you enjoyed your…I believe the term is…one night stands. However, it seems more like you are disappointed by your lack of proper romantic relationships." Said Sheldon.

"Don't get me wrong Sheldon, I love meeting people. But it always seems to be a one night thing, and I kind of want more than that. Other than Kurt and Leonard I've never really been in a serious long term relationship, and both of those failed anyway." Sighed Penny.

"Perhaps the right man hasn't come along. Or maybe he has and you have dismissed him as an acceptable romantic partner." Said Sheldon.

"That would be right. The best man ever falls madly in love with me and I don't even see it." Said Penny.

"Maybe so." Said Sheldon. He shifted a little uneasily in his chair. Penny thought it strange, but decided not to mention it.

"So…how are things going with Amy? Is she still trying to jump you at every opportunity?" she grinned.

"It would appear Amy will never rid herself of her need for physical intimacy." Said Sheldon.

"You know Sheldon, as much as I like Amy, you shouldn't feel pressured into giving in to her." Said Penny.

"I don't intend to." Replied Sheldon.

"Good luck with that. Amy is so desperate for intimacy she's practically come onto me on more than one occasion." Said Penny.

"I am aware of this. She occasionally mumbles your name if she falls asleep while we are watching a movie." Said Sheldon.

"Eww! I wish you hadn't told me that. That's weird." Said Penny pulling a face.

"Where is that waiter?" asked Sheldon. Finally he arrived. Sheldon ordered for both of them and the waiter left.

"How did you know I liked that?" asked Penny with surprise.

"You stated in your previous conversation that you missed eating it at establishments like this." Said Sheldon.

"You really pay attention to me. Are you sure there isn't a clone of you that likes sex?" smiled Penny.

"People are not always what they seem Penny." Said Sheldon.

"I wouldn't want a clone of you. You're unique. That's what I love about you." Smiled Penny. Sheldon smiled back. Not his Joker or koala smile. A proper smile.

"Cooper!" called a voice from close to them.

"Oh good grief!" groaned Sheldon resting his head in his hand.

"Well if it isn't Dr Sheldon Cooper. How the hell are you?" asked the man coming over in a suit.

"Penny, this is Frank Johnson, eminent prankster and former colleague from Cal Tech." said Sheldon. The man turned to Penny and smiled.

"Damn Cooper, you finally joined the dark side and got yourself a pretty lady." He smiled. Sheldon glanced at the floor and blushed. Penny looked at him curiously then turned back to the man.

"I'm Penny. Pleased to meet you Frank. How long did you work with my boyfriend?" she asked. Sheldons head flew up so fast to look at her he nearly got whiplash in his neck.

"Oh I was there for a while. Never made the kind of inroads that this genius did. I have to get back to my date. It's a pleasure to meet you Penny. And Cooper you dawg…wait until I tell the guys you've joined the sexually active group!" he smirked and left.

"He seems…interesting." Smiled Penny. Sheldon looked at her curiously.

"What?" asked Penny smiling back at him.

"Why did you introduce yourself as my girlfriend?" he asked.

"I could see you were awkward. I didn't want you to lose face in front of your friend. You'll get quite the reputation Sheldon. I like to think of myself as quite the catch." Smiled Penny.

"You certainly are." Replied Sheldon. He blushed some more and stared back down at the table embarrassed.

"Why are you embarrassed? Did I embarrass you? I'm sorry sweetie." Said Penny.

"No it…it's fine." Said Sheldon quietly. He adjusted the already perfectly laid out cutlery in silence.

"Oh look, our food is arriving." Said Penny glad for a break in the sudden awkward silence. After a few minutes of more silence Penny cleared her throat.

"Did you want me to go and find Frank and tell him I'm not your girlfriend? You seem really uncomfortable with him thinking that. I was trying to boost you up a bit. But that was wrong of me, you probably don't care how they see you." Said Penny.

"I was just surprised to hear you say it that's all. Noone has ever lied on my behalf before." Said Sheldon.

"Sheldon, we were having a lovely evening, I don't want it to get awkward." Said Penny. Sheldon sighed deeply and glanced up at her.

"It's not awkward Penny. I hope you are enjoying your food." Said Sheldon. Penny glanced down at it.

"I _was_. Now I feel like you hate me for embarrassing you in front of your colleague." Sighed Penny.

"You didn't embarrass me. Any man would be delighted to be your boyfriend." Said Sheldon.

"Ha! Except you Sheldon. You're Homo Novus." She smiled. Sheldon let out another sigh.

"Penny, I have a confession to make." He said quietly.

"Don't tell me you've been secretly seeing a different woman every night?" smirked Penny.

"Penny, I'm serious." Said Sheldon. Penny took a mouthful of her food and gave him her full attention.

"Good lord, I feel like I've got a million spotlights on me." Said Sheldon uncomfortably pulling at his tie in an attempt to loosen it.

"Sweetie what's wrong?" she asked concerned.

"Penny I…I have mislead you about this evening." Said Sheldon.

"What do you mean?" asked Penny.

"Amy and I didn't have plans." Said Sheldon. Penny looked at him with a confused look.

"But you have reservations?" asked Penny.

"I made them in the hope you would agree to come." Said Sheldon.

"I don't understand." Said Penny.

"Of course you don't. Why would you when I am experiencing only mild embarrassment?" he asked self mockingly.

"Sheldon, what are you trying to say?" asked Penny trying to figure out what was happening.

"I…wanted to come out with you tonight." Said Sheldon.

"But if you wanted to come out with me tonight why didn't you just ask? Why did you say it was Amys date?" asked Penny. Her eyes suddenly went wide and she took a deep breath.

"Sheldon…did you ask me out on a date?" she asked quietly.

"First of all, I must assure you that Amy and I terminated our relationship agreement. I am many things Penny, but an adulterer is not one of them." Said Sheldon.

"Sweetie, I don't understand. You asked me out?" she asked quietly.

"I'm sorry if I have made you uncomfortable. I probably shouldn't have said anything, but with my lack of social convention knowledge I wasn't sure what to do. I propose that we eat the rest of our meal." Said Sheldon.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" asked Penny loud enough to get the attention of several nearby tables.

"Penny, you're making a scene." Said Sheldon looking round uncomfortably.

"_I'm_ make a scene? Sheldon, you ditched Amy and asked me out on a date and you think _I'm_ the one making a scene?" asked Penny.

"Forget I said anything." Said Sheldon.

"Forget…Sheldon, you are unbelievable!" cried Penny pushing her chair out and standing up.

"Please don't leave." He pleaded.

"I'm going to the bathroom. I need a moment." She said hurrying away from the table. Sheldon could feel the eyes of most of the restaurant burning into his skull as he picked at his food uncomfortably. He heard a chair make a noise and glanced up to see Penny had returned. She was staring directly at him.

"Do you want me to call the Limousine to take you home?" he asked quietly.

"No Sheldon. I don't." said Penny.

"Then can we partake in the rest of our meal?" asked Sheldon.

"Sheldon, you're Homo Novus. You're above emotions. I don't understand." She said.

"I've been like that my entire adult life. Penny, you've done something to me. You've got inside my head. I don't know how to deal with it." Said Sheldon. He glanced down at the table and looked like he was about to cry.

"Hurry up and eat your food. I can't talk to you about this in the middle of a restaurant." Sighed Penny. Sheldon reluctantly finished his meal.

"Dessert?" he questioned when they had both finished. Penny shrugged and stared down at her empty plate. The waiter came over and Sheldon ordered two slices of chocolate cake.

"That's my favourite." Whispered Penny after a moment.

"I know." Replied Sheldon.

"I hope that cake hurries up. I need to talk to you." Said Penny. Sheldon secretly hoped the cake would take a while, she seemed unwilling to talk to him while they were there, and it didn't seem like a conversation he was going to enjoy having. His hopes were ruined when the waiter quickly appeared with two plates of chocolate cake. They ate in silence.

"Delicious." He said when he had finished.

"It certainly was. We should pay so we can go." Said Penny.

"Certainly." Replied Sheldon. He went to the main desk to ask for the cheque, leaving Penny alone at the table with her thoughts. She stared down at the empty plates.

"Penny? We're paid up." Said Sheldon after a moment breaking her from her thoughts. Penny stood and Sheldon held the door open for her as they left.

"Follow me." Said Penny shaking her head at the phone Sheldon was about to use to call the Limousine. She led him round the corner to a small park area and sat on a seat. Sheldon stared at her uncomfortably.

"Sit." Said Penny patting the space on the seat next to her.

"OK." He said quietly and obeyed her.

"Sheldon…I'm so confused. Are you saying you have feelings for me?" she asked after a moment.

"Not so much feelings as an internal torment." Muttered Sheldon. She looked at him curiously.

"Penny, I have an IQ of 187. I'm not stupid. I know I'm not the kind of person you date. I'm kidding myself here. But for some reason…this coming out here…pretending…it made me feel good for a change." Said Sheldon. He glanced down at the ground. Penny said nothing and the silence was killing him.

"Sheldon?" she asked after a moment.

"Penny?" he replied still looking down at the ground.

"I'm glad I made you feel good." Said Penny.

"You always do." He replied softly. His eyes shot to his hand as he felt hers lay on top of it.

"Penny…" he whispered.

"Sheldon, if you think this is going to work without any kind of touching then you're wrong." Said Penny.

"I don't like touching Penny, you know…wait…what did you say?" he asked confused.

"I said…if you think this is going to work…" repeated Penny.

"What are you saying?" he asked, not daring to look at her.

"Maybe you were right Sheldon. Maybe the right man did come along and I dismissed them as an acceptable romantic partner. Maybe you're it Sheldon. There's only one way to tell. Turn your head to me and close your eyes." Said Penny. Sheldon did as instructed and his eyes sprung open in shock as he felt her lips ever so softly on his own.

"Penny…" he said looking stunned.

"Sheldon, you're right. You're not like the guys I normally date. Look where that got me? Maybe you're the Homo Novus to the Homo Sapiens. Maybe you're the next evolved species?" she smiled.

"How can you make Science sound so…amazing?" asked Sheldon.

"How can you make your eyes so blue they look like oceans?" she replied staring into them.

"I prefer your green ones." He replied.

"Thank you for asking me out tonight. Albeit for different reasons than I thought. I'm not sure it counts as a proper date when I didn't know it was one." Said Penny.

"Well…perhaps I could take you out sometime?" asked Sheldon nervously.

"I'd like that." She smiled back. There was a pause.

"Sheldon?" she asked.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"Do you think…I might be able to get…a cuddle?" asked Penny. Sheldon nodded slowly and allowed Penny to wrap an arm around his back and the other around his stomach and he placed one around her back, his hand resting on her shoulder as she leant against him.

"You can be really romantic you know that?" asked Penny.

"Oh good. I thought I was coming across as creepy loser." Said Sheldon. Penny laughed.

"You're just Sheldon. And that's perfectly OK with me. _My_ Sheldon." She said resting her head on his chest. Sheldon moved his free arm and gently stroked the side of her face with his hand.

"You know what Sheldon? I love this. If you were any other guy you'd have your hand up my dress by now. But you're more respectful. You like me for me, not just my body." Said Penny.

"Don't get too fooled. You have a smoking hot body." Muttered Sheldon. Penny burst out laughing.

"I've spent too much time around Wolowitz." He cringed.

"I think so. How would you describe me in Sheldon speak?" she asked.

"Like an adder." Said Sheldon. Penny glanced up at him.

"You're likening me to a snake?" she asked.

"Yes. Perfectly happy if you treat them right. But deadly if you mess with them." Said Sheldon. Penny grinned.

"You're damn right." She smiled.

"I'm sorry I ruined our meal with my confession." Said Sheldon.

"You didn't. It took a lot of guts to say what you did. I'm glad you did. I only wish you'd told me to begin with. This could have been our first proper date." Said Penny.

"It doesn't have to end here. There's a place you can dance not far from here. The Limo is ours until midnight." Said Sheldon.

"That sounds lovely Sheldon." She smiled. They got up and Sheldon used a wipe to clean down the parts of him that came into contact with the seat.

"Come on sweetie. You're going to dance until your feet fall off." Said Penny.

"Impossible. The time for loss of limbs would far exceed the time for dehydration, tiredness and lack of nutrition. We would die before our feet fell off." He stated. Penny rolled her eyes. At 11.30 PM they finally climbed up the stairs to the fourth floor.

"You realise my REM cycle is destroyed?" asked Sheldon. Penny slipped her arms around his neck.

"I was worth it though right?" she asked.

"Affirmative." He smiled.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" asked Penny.

"Of course." Said Sheldon.

"Kiss goodnight?" asked Penny hopefully. Sheldon looked at her nervously and pushed his fear of germs to the back of his mind long enough to allow her to kiss him softly on the lips.

"Mmm. That was nice. Goodnight sweetie." She smiled.

"Goodnight Penny." He replied. They went into their separate apartments. Penny sunk down onto her bed exhausted. Her mobile went off and she glanced at the screen and grinned.

_Missing you already. Dr Sheldon Cooper._

"I miss you too Sheldon." She smiled holding the phone close to her and sinking off into a blissful sleep. She had a good feeling about this.


End file.
